Archive for January, 2010
With school out soon, parents either feel two things. 1)”Wow, I can’t wait to spend more time with my kids!” or 2)”Oh, boy, here we go. How will we fill their time?” Parents who work outside the home have no choice but to send their kids to camps or daycares during the the day, but stay-at-home moms or dads need to get creative. If you need some ideas on how best to occupy your kids this summer then what follows will be just what you need. In order for children to be happy and content four things need to be present in their day: 1) Routine How do we structure their days so that all four requirements are met? The following is what a typical day could look like: 8 am Kids wake up (or 9 am) Eat a healthy breakfast Have free time to play, watch a good quality children’s program (no fighting, violence, or quick flashing images) for a half hour or hour Learn how to make or bake something with mommy or daddy. This can be a craft or a baked good. Eat a healthy lunch Put them down for a nap or if older, take them outside to: a) a playground b) a friends house (this way you can have a tea or coffee with another adult while the kids play!) c) a play gym d) walk somewhere (grocery store, post office, ice cream store) e) take pictures of nature with a disposable or digital camera (Children love this! Give them a brief lesson on how to focus on an object etc. then let them be creative with whatever they want to capture) Make these pictures part of another day’s craft activity! f) kick around a ball together g) walk in the countryside h) go to a museum i) go to the zoo j) send the kids on a scavenger hunt and after they find everything they can enjoy a homemade popsicle or ice cream! k) go to grandma and grandpa’s house l) play catch m) meet the working parent for his or her coffee break (how nice to visit them during the day for a short coffee, tea, lemonade or chocolate milk!) n) weed the garden or grass (believe it or not, some kids really like doing this! Put on some good music and have an enjoyable time together) o) take care of the garden plants by watering them, picking off dead leaves etc. p) wash the car with buckets of soapy water, sponges and shammy cloths q) turn on the sprinkler(s) and let the kids run through the water (you can either join in or read a good book while they play) Come home and let the children have some “Alone Time” (for you as well!) Eat a healthy dinner Spend some quality family time together To bed no later than 9:00pm for younger children and 10pm for older children. Voila! A perfect day that is routined and stimulating yet has plenty of free play and sleep. Erin Kurt is currently the president of Erin Parenting, a company devoted to empowering parents with the tools, training and support they need to create the family life they truly want. She is also the author of Juggling Family Life. To learn more about her book and to sign up for more FREE tips like these, visit her site at http://erinparenting.com/
Stop Crying by Going Outside
Summer fun with your kids
2) Stimulation
3) Free Play/Alone time
4) Sleep
How to solve Separation Anxiety with Your Kids
Many children go through a phase in which they show anxiety and restlessness in the presence of unfamiliar people or situations. A baby may be unsettled by a new babysitter. A four year old may cry persistently during the first few days at kindergarten. These are perfectly normal situations and reactions.
One in every 25 children experiences some form of separation anxiety which can often be allayed by allowing the child to have a period of adjustment to his new situation. However, a child five or older who demonstrates unremitting resistance to camp, school or daycare for an extended period of time (3 weeks or more) may be suffering from separation anxiety disorder.
What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?
This is a condition in which the child becomes physically agitated over the thought of being separated from his primary caregiver or home. It is not confined to children. Adults can experience separation anxiety as well; it is known as “agoraphobia,” or fear of being separated from a safe person or home. “Agora” in Greek means marketplace and the word “agoraphobic” refers to people who are terrified of leaving home for the market.
What are the Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder?
- The child complains of headaches or stomach aches. Sometimes he or she throws temper tantrums.
- The child has an irrational fear that something bad will happen if she leaves the house or caregiver.
- The child shows unusual concern about being kidnapped or taken away.
- The child fears that the caregiver might die.
- The child fears being alone, even in a separate room.
- The child has nightmares of being separated.
- The child cannot fall asleep unless caregiver is nearby.
What Can Be Done about Separation Anxiety Disorder?
If the child’s anxiety is so excessive it interferes with normal functioning at home and at school, it is wise to consult professional help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapies provide a framework in which children can learn about their fears and how to deal with them.
In essence, Cognitive Behavioral Therapies help children identify negative thoughts rather than external events, as the source of anxious feelings and behavior. They also help children develop skills for self reliance and self help. They help them practice alternative responses to anxiety so that new neural pathways can replace old circuitry in the brain. Achievement of goal is predicated on the children’s ability to unlearn old patterns and replacing them with new responses.
Why is Professional Treatment important?
Research suggests that anxiety disorders in children should be taken seriously and that parents should seek professional treatment because untreated children usually perform poorly at school, have repeated absences from school, experience problems relating with peers and siblings or become alcohol or drug dependent when they grow older.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
Solving Teething Problems
Patience – our kids need it
We live in a “need it now” society. Commercials tell us that we deserve things and that we owe it to ourselves to give ourselves things. They urge us to get the latest-the greatest- and the most desired objects. How could our lives be complete without them? We have fast food, 24 hr pharmacies, no credit for however long (if you buy now), cell phones where you can get in touch with someone anytime, anywhere, and the Internet – so you never have to wait to get the information you need.
When you live with this kind of mentality and in this kind of society, it’s easy to see why we learn to live a lifestyle that is impatient. We don’t really know how to deny ourselves things, for the most part.
For those of us who keep one foot in the “slower-days-of-simpler-living” kind of lifestyle while keeping the other foot in pace with the trends of today, it can be both a struggle and a blessing to know the differences of these two worlds. While struggling against getting caught up in the busy, fast-paced, stressful way of living, it is a blessing to be able to tap into that part of yourself that knows how to work hard for something, and to be patient while waiting for your dreams and goals to be realized. It’s an internal payoff and reward that a “get-it-now” mentality can’t touch.
Children who have learned how to be patient and to wait for things in their lives tend to be happier and more content because they know the worth in receiving those blessings. They don’t just take them for granted or expect them. They also tend to be more generous because they have developed a compassionate and empathetic heart just by going through the process of being denied things immediately in their life. They don’t feel empty inside because there is a sense of worth being built into who they are.
We can get into the rut of wanting to give our children the whole world. Yet the whole world isn’t really what they need. They need to learn valuable lessons and the rich rewards that come with working hard for something. They need to learn to wait. We will help mold some individuals who feel complete and who have “substance” to them, if we can simply teach them at times, that waiting is necessary in life.
As a parent, I think it’s very important to pass this lesson on to your children. Teach them the value in waiting and in wanting. It is one of the best things you could ever do for them. Some day, they will thank you for it.
Dionna Sanchez is the Founder of EmphasisOnMoms.com and freelance writer. She maintains her own personal blog at http://emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com as well as one on traditions at http://alastingfoundation.blogspot.com
You can contact Dionna at madetomom@yahoo.com
Over Parenting, Helicopter Parent — Sound Familiar?
Just came across this amusing article titled, “Are you a Helicopter Parent?” Well actually, it was amusing and troubling all at once. If you spend any time on this site, you know that we are all about parent involvement. …
Pupils to get parenting lessons, aged 14 « families, babies, kids …
The classes would be part of the government’s new Personal Health and Social Education (PHSE) curriculum that includes teaching 14-year-olds about parenting, body image and ‘moral dilemmas’. …
The Green Parent | Green Parenting in Texas
Green Parenting in Texas. christine-stewart. When Christine Stewart was pregnant with her first child, she began to look at the products she was using on herself and in her home and the food she was eating. …
Reflections of the Times: Christian Parenting According to …
That may sound harsh, but initially I thought if all I ever knew of Susannah Wesley’s parenting skills were what I read in this letter, it seems like a fair assessment. However, I want to be as fair as humanly possible because I realize …
A Plethora of Parenting Resolutions
A few days ago, I told you all about my New Year Resolutions……and now, the Parenting Channel at About.com is sharing theirs too – you know, just in case you need more ideas on how to improve your life! From learning how to keep …
Speak Softly – No stick needed
Many times parents are concerned with how loud their child speaks when the child is talking to them. It can be especially challenging for parents to know what to do and how to do it when their child’s voice volume is just too loud!
Although it is common for children to get other people’s attention by shouting when someone is in another room, or you are upstairs once and a while. It becomes too much when you are standing right next to him or her, and your child is shouting as if you are 50 feet away!
Since children are learning how to use their vocal chords and what volume to use to get his or her needs met, here are some strategies to have them speak more softly.
Use an “inside voice” whenever you are in the house. Make sure that you speak in a voice volume range that isn’t too loud or too soft. Aim for somewhere in the middle. Instead of shouting requests and messages from downstairs, walk to the child. The child will follow that same action you modeled when he or she is far away and is trying to get your attention.
Make sure you listen to T.V., radio, and music from your Cd player in a certain “loudness range”. I cannot make you commit so a certain decibel volume, however if you notice that you and your children have to compete with or fight over the volume of the TV and music played, it is time to lower the electronic devices. Competing with loud volumes from TVs and radio is often a major reason why your child is unknowingly shouting in the first place.
Finally, point out to your child when he or she is shouting, instead of letting them continue to shout. When you speak, there is no need to whisper “you are shouting right now”, just use your normal voice volume to act like a “mirror” simply helping them to be aware of his or her volume. Just remember always stay calm!
In conclusion, also remember that your child is learning what to (and not to) pay attention to. Hold them accountable by using the steps below. Your child does have the capability to give you his or her full attention, just give the child 3-10 seconds to shift his/her attention to you first completely.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child’s out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
To Download and listen to my FREE audio recordings visit: http://www.theinhomeparentcoach.com
To Download My Brand New Ebook- “Unleash The Parental Leader Within!” Click here…
Unleash The Parental Leader Within!
Jason Johnson (MSW) has spent many years working with hundreds of challenging toddlers through teenagers diagnosed with A.D.H.D, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Conduct Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, and Bi-polar.
He has worked with children and their families in hospitals, mental health facilities, and he continues to go into client’s homes until this very day. Jason works with boys and girls (ages 2-19) with SEVERE emotional/behavioral issue from various ethnic backgrounds, races, and religions.
Parenting on the View